After watching the pathetic display of football on Sunday, New England Patriots QB Tom Brady decided to take matters into his own hands. After his Sunday morning visit to the office of world famous Dr Rudy Wells P.H.D, MD, Brady considered speeding the operation on his left knee injury. After consulting with Patriots team doctors, Dr. Bertram "Za Za"Zarins and Dr. Thomas J."Shakey Jake" Gill, Brady underwent a risky operation which will turn 45% of his body into a cyborg. Before the procedure, Dr Wells briefed his team of world class doctors, voo doo shamans, witch doctors, and his former high school principle "Tom Brady, quarterback. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Tom Brady will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster". After three days of surgery with only 36 hours of rest(watching reruns of Entourage in between sessions) the miracle was a complete success. His right arm, both legs and the left eye are replaced by "bionic" implants that enhance his strength, speed and vision far above human norms. He can run at speeds of 60 miles per hour (100 km/h), and his eye has a 20:1 zoom lens and infrared capabilities.
Attached to his throwing arm is a shoulder rig capable of throwing a football from hard enough to go through a concrete wall and accurate enough to take down a 10point buck at 400 yards. He's ready for playoffs! I think he'll do just fine.
Capt
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2 comments:
From the reports, brady has not recovered and could miss 2009 as well.... Time to buy your cassel jerseys!!!
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